Tolstoy
They say that time will soldier on
To bolster faith when hope is gone.
They say that patience too will hold
The bastions as the storms unfold.
What of the heart that will not heal
The ravages of love’s ordeal?
What of the ache that will not yield
While heartbreak stays within concealed?
O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
Some songs just strike a chord in me. This is one of them.
How, in such an alien and inhuman world, can so powerless a creature as Man preserve his aspirations untarnished? A strange mystery it is that Nature, omnipotent but blind, in the revolutions of her secular hurryings through the abysses of space, has brought forth at last a child, subject still to her power, but gifted with sight, with knowledge of good and evil, with the capacity of judging all the works of his unthinking Mother. In spite of Death, the mark and seal of the parental control, Man is yet free, during his brief years, to examine, to criticise, to know, and in imagination to create. To him alone, in the world with which he is acquainted, this freedom belongs; and in this lies his superiority to the resistless forces that control his outward life.
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
Errare Humanum Est
The wrongs and injuries of base mankind
Fresh to my sense, and always in my mind.
The bravely-patient to no fortune yields:
On rolling oceans, and in fighting fields,
Storms have I pass’d, and many a stern debate;
And now in humbler scene submit to fate.
What cannot want? The best she will expose,
And I am learn’d in all her train of woes
These words are from Alexander Pope’s translation of Homer’s Odyssey. Odysseus, on reaching the palace at Ithaca, considers the trials he has endured on his ten-year odyssey and the uncertainty of what the future holds, and is resigned to the comfort of his fate.
Alexander Pope was by all accounts a remarkable man. His translations of Homer’s epic poems, completed early in the eighteenth century, are regarded by many as the classic rhyming translations by which all others are measured. He was an avid poet and critic, and if not for the Illiad and Odyssey, is probably best remembered for having penned the phrase To err is human, to forgive divine, possibly the best known of all English proverbs. What wisdom could have been embedded into these seven simple words to have caused them to be remembered for so long and known to so many? I think it’s that they capture, in the most concise way possible, the two poles that lie at the very heart of the human condition.
It’s been a revelation to me how, as I’ve got older, I’ve increasingly found wisdom in ancient writings. I recall dwelling on the biblical concept of original sin in years gone by, and of the notion of we as human beings having fallen, and coming to the conclusion that it was ridiculous and nonsensical. If eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil was a metaphor for our transition to rational beings, how could the act possibly be sinful and constitute our fall? I’d always considered our intellect and ability to reason as the essence of our humanity and correspondingly as our greatest gift; Shouldn’t we celebrate the event instead?
While I still do see reason as one of our great gifts, time and experience have tempered my views to the point where it’s impossible for me to look upon intellect with the same indiscriminate reverence that I once did. Is it really our greatest gift, or are there other gifts that rival or surpass it? What good is intellect if it’s misdirected, and having asked that, what is it that provides direction and guidance to our thoughts and ultimately to our actions? It’s by asking questions like these that we begin to wade into the deep waters of ethics and aesthetics, and our notions of perfect love and perfect beauty that lie at their heart.
My favourite modern philosopher is Bertrand Russell, not because I think he was the smartest or made the most significant contributions to philosophy, but because he was so acutely human and aware of it. In mathematics, he single-handedly destroyed the dreams of the idealists by showing that even mathematics, our purest science that many had thought perfect, had inescapable logical flaws. He wrote prolifically on a multitude of subjects and was never afraid to voice his opinion. His work was and remains controversial, and Wittgenstein, his pupil, famously said that Russell’s works should be divided into red books on mathematics, that everyone should read, and blue books on everything else, that nobody should be allowed to. It was of Russell, defending his controversial appointment to a post at the College of the City of New York, that Einstein wrote:
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.
In a 1959 BBC inverview, Russell was asked what message he would choose to pass on to future generations, were he given the opportunity. Fittingly, he broke his advice into two parts, the first intellectual, that when searching for truth we should try to consider only the facts, putting those facts above any desired outcomes or presupposed notions, and the second moral, that hatred is foolish and love wise.
Truth, and love. If these are our two great gifts, where do they come from? We certainly don’t need them for survival and it’s curious to me that we have either. It was Einstein again who noted that the only unintelligible thing about the universe is that it’s intelligible to us at all. It needn’t be so. And what about love? Surely we would be just as well off, or even better off, had we been more like other animals who go about ensuring their survival with brutal and banal efficiency?
Whatever the answers and despite the oddities of our human predicament, I cannot but think what an unlikely journey we’ve had in getting here. From the very instant of the Big Bang, in those first zillionths of a second when the universe started, had the explosive force been even minutely more or less, the elements that are the building blocks of life and everything around us wouldn’t have been formed and the universe as we know it would simply not exist. I read somewhere once that the precision required of that explosion was so great that the probability of it happening as a chance event would be like shooting an arrow in a random direction and having it strike a bulls-eye at the other end of the known universe. Yet, despite the odds, it happened.
In Carl Sagan’s Cosmos, he discusses experiments in pre-biological organic chemistry at Cornell University, where some of the basic building blocks of life, like amino acids, can be synthesised easily from inorganic compounds. Easy as that may be, the step from amino acids to even the most simple life forms, such as bacteria, is like the step from a chunk of brass to a functioning Swiss clock. Of course we can’t discount that it happened by accident, but the spontaneous creation of life as a chance event must leave even the arrow analogy pale by comparison.
These are only two unlikely events on a road that is staggeringly full of fortuitous accidents of nature from beginning to end. Sometimes when I think about the events that have led us to where we now are, and even given the billions of years that it’s taken for us to get here, it’s hard for me to accept that it’s all been purely accidental. As a person of science with an enquiring mind, I don’t for an instant believe that we should ascribe any event to the realm of supernatural miracles, but an essential part of life for me has become embracing the uncertain and the unknown as a necessary part of our existence, and celebrating the reality that we are surrounded by ordinary miracles every minute of every day.
The religious zealots will have us believe that the existence of God can be proved, while at the same time the fanatic atheists will ridicule all who choose to believe in any form of deity. The truth, of course, is that it’s a matter that can neither be proved nor disproved, nor will it ever be, for the answers lie in a realm beyond anything we can conceive. But I can’t help wondering what if, before anything else, there was a singular God of beauty and of love? Is there anything more cruel and lonely than love unrequited? It leads me to feel, sometimes overwhelmingly, that we are Children of a Lonely God. That perhaps all those uncanny accidents of nature were somehow not accidental at all, but part of a larger play that has culminated in the existence of us as rational beings, floating on this pale blue dot in the vast loneliness of space and able to grasp and marvel at the beauty and majesty of nature. That it’s no accident at all that we have been given reason and love, and that the most important choice we can and must make is the choice to love, and through love to connect with and discover the Divine. If this is true, then perhaps the Universe and everything in it is nothing but a celebration of beauty and of love.
But despite the divine origin of the seeds that lie within us, the tragic human reality is that we as beings are fatally flawed. It’s as though we’ve been given the notions of perfect beauty and prefect love, but for us they remain just that. Notions. We dream of replicating perfect beauty or realising perfect love, but for us, such perfection will be forever elusive. However noble our intentions and no matter how hard we might try, it will always be impossible for us to turn those notions into perfect reality, as under the critical judgement of our own honest intellect, we will always fall short.
Should we just concede defeat or resign ourselves to bitterness in the futility of it all? Of course not. For me, being human is about accepting the flaws that are part of my makeup and choosing to try and rise above them. About taming and tempering the animal within and striving to exist beyond the physical plane. About never abandoning those perfect notions of beauty and love and all the virtues they inspire, and trying to live up to them and do them justice. This, for me, defines human purpose and I believe that it’s this singular activity that has the ability to truly enrich and add meaning to our lives.
I don’t think it really matters how we choose to go about it – whether it’s raising children with love, writing poetry, creating a beautiful garden, or nothing short of setting out to change the world – ultimately I think it’s less about what we do and more about the way in which we do it. Whatever we choose to do, if we do it with earnest, it will be a road on which we will often need to go by feel and which will never be without risk. And we cannot allow ourselves to shy from risk for fear of devastation; In the end, there is little to be gained from living a life in which we are not true to ourselves or which is less than the one of which we are capable. It’s inevitable that at times we will err in our judgement and make mistakes – we’re only human after all.
Although we’re all familiar with Alexander Pope’s famous proverb, fewer are aware that the saying itself had its roots in antiquity with Seneca’s less forgiving Errare humanum est, sed in errare perseverare diabolicum (to err is human, but to persist in the error is diabolical). A stoic philosopher, Seneca has always been considered to be a humanist saint and it’s fitting for me that having been born in 4BC, his life and that of Christ, the divine saint, would have been concurrent so that we today can imagine the human and the divine juxtaposed in time, just as it is within ourselves. I have little doubt that Seneca himself felt these poles in his own being and that had he chosen to define this, he might instead have written Errare humanum est, amāre sacrum.
You couldn’t easily find a better partner for human nature than Love. That’s the basis for my claiming that every man should hold Love in respect, and I myself respect the ways of love and practice them with exceptional care. That’s why I urge others to do the same, and on this and every other occasion I do all I can to praise the power and courage of Love. ~ from Plato’s Symposium – The closing of Socrates speech.
The Fire Horse
The fragile frame now frail and tired
once bore this horse of fire with pride.
The failing bones and wasted limbs
once danced to music from within.
This was no ordinary life,
but one of passion and of strife;
Of giving out and never in
as she ran headlong to the wind.
But there’s a price that must be paid
for a life lived in this way,
as flames made brighter by a gale
will sooner falter, sooner fail.
And when the namesake of her sign
like darkness came to claim its prize,
she gathered strength and held the light
and shook her fire to the night.
But there are deeds that can’t be done
and there are wars that can’t be won.
There are songs to leave unsung
for lives to follow, times to come.
Still in her eyes the light remains,
as though the embers of the blaze
fanned by failing breath still glow
through the scattered ash below.
Oh Sarah, may God grant you flight
and shelter from this brutal fight,
that like the phoenix you may rise
to find your place beyond these skies.
And I set my mind to know wisdom and to know madness and folly; I realized that this also is striving after wind. Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain.
Out of the night that covers me
black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soulIn the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of chance
my head is bloody, but unbowedBeyond this place of wrath and tears
looms but the horror of the shade
and yet the menace of the years
finds, and shall find me, unafraidIt matters not how strait the gate
how charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul
It always seems impossible until it’s done.